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TRUST BUILDING IN
THE MENTORING RELATIONSHIP
Barry Sweeny, 2008
Mentoring requires a safe, confidential
environment for professional growth to occur. Few beginning teachers
will risk looking foolish in front of a mentor or any other experienced
teacher UNTIL a safe, trusting context for that risk-taking is established.
Here are the critical elements of such a trusting relationship. This
part of this web page is adapted from work by Judith Warren Little.
INTERACTION - collaborative work
together gives the opportunity to know each other better.
> PAIRS work to build their skills
> MENTORS create a low-risk setting & use open
questions to lead inquiry
PREDICTABILITY - doing what we say we will do leads to being
seen as trust-worthy.
> PAIRS build trust thru consistent use of predictable
criteria & methods
> MENTORS are as clear about criteria & methods
as is the teacher on teaching methods & aims
RECIPROCITY - mentoring is a two way process, mutual support
for each other's growth, since that's the school culture we need
to build together
> PAIRS defer to one another's skill & knowledge,
& preserve each other's dignity
> MENTORS are willing to grow, honor the experience
of the teacher, & work as hard as a coach as the teacher is
working to teach
COMMON VOCABULARY - so we know each other understand what
we mean when we express ourselves
> PAIRS deliberately use shared ideas & language
in communications
> MENTORS lead in using terms & ideas that create
shared meaning
FOCUS - keeping our limited time together practical and productive,
we can be trusted to not waste each other's time
> PAIRS select 1-2 questions or problems to explore
& to build skill around
> MENTORS lead in keeping focused & purposeful,
they link data & topic
HARD EVIDENCE - helps to keep delicate conversation as objective
as possible, so we challenge the practices without injuring the
practitioner
> PAIRS select/invent observation tools that fit
the purpose & use the data to explore topics & generate
conclusions
> MENTORS value adequate data, & work hard to
be thorough when collecting it
The Challenge of Building a Trusting
Relationship
The challenges are several:
- We need time to get to know and trust each other,
yet, early in the school year, we must focus the limited time
we have together on the higher priorities of preparation of the
classroom, lessons, etc. for the successful start of the school
year.
- Trust must be earned through time by the mentor
and protege demonstrating the qualities listed above, yet we need
to take risks right away for the sake of learning.
- The mentor must take the risks of demonstrating
that (s)he is trustworthy, intentionally doing and saying things
that will help the protege feel that trust for the mentor as soon
as possible.
- The mentor must become vulnerable in front of
the protege, demonstrating the trust in the protege that is needed
before that trust is earned, and demonstrating for the protege
those behaviors that the protege needs to learn and show with
the mentor.
These challenges are illustrated in the chart given
below. Notice the early efforts of the mentor and the trusting building
that occurs over time. A great example is:
- The pair don't feel trust in each other early
in their relationship, so they both commit to a confidentiality
for their conversations, to protect the risks each other take.
- Later, as they do feel trust in each other, they
can discuss and decide if they need to continue that confidentiality
or not, and the specific cases in which they do or do not need
it.
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